If your dog has ever had the “honor” of meeting one of Pepe Le Pew’s many relatives, you know firsthand just how putrid the smell that comes out of the back end of a skunk can be.

Some people compare it to the smell of marijuana but to those people I say, “YOU ARE HIGHLY MISTAKEN MY FRIEND!” I’m not talking about driving by some roadkill on the highway, no no no, that’s spread out in a wide area outside, the wind has probably carried some of it away, then it comes through the filters of your car and hits your nose at about 15% intensity. It’s weak.

I’m talking up close, full blast, right in the eye of the storm cloud skunk smell. One of the worst things to ever pass my nostrils.

Think about what it’s like to watch a video filmed in 4K; the brightness of the colors & how accurate they are to real life, the insanely high quality of the people on screen (to the point where you can see their pores), it makes you feel like you’re in the video, it’s surreal. Well, smelling skunk up close and personal is like smelling in 4K, except unlike the delightful out of body experience you get from a high-definition video, this smell gives you full body shudders. Your eyes start to water instantly, a lump starts to form in the back of your throat that quickly expels in the form of a wheeze & turns into a rollercoaster of simultaneous coughing/gagging. You’ll find yourself on the brink of vomiting multiple times in a span of just 30 seconds.

I really can’t even describe something that may smell similar, it’s in its own category of terrible and can only be described as unholy.

In 2021 I had the unfortunate pleasure of 3 separate skunk encounters with my own dogs…but as most dog owners know, I really could only blame myself. I gave my dogs a wee bit too much freedom on our nightly walk & before I even realized what was happening, they came running out of the trees sliding across the grass trying to get the smell off themselves. Although they were the ones that were physically affected by these events, I would say I was the one who suffered the most.

To spare you the pain & suffering that I went through I’ll share with you how I was able to get this terrible smell off my dogs quickly – like I said this happened 3 times to me this year so you could basically call me an expert in skunk smell removal.

The super secret Krabby Patty formula to remove this smell is a combination of:

• • • • Dawn dish soap
      • 3% hydrogen peroxide (make sure it’s 3%, a higher percentage may burn the skin)
      • Baking soda